What to write in a sympathy card: 60 condolence messages, and how to add a memory that means something

A simple formula

Use their name. Families often say it is the thing they miss hearing most. If you did not know the person, say something about the one who is grieving instead: "I know how much she meant to you."

Short messages (1 to 10)

1. I am so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you.
2. With deepest sympathy, and with love.
3. Holding you close in my thoughts.
4. I am so sorry. I am here whenever you need me.
5. Wishing you peace and comfort in the days ahead.
6. There are no words. Just love, and I'm here.
7. Thinking of you and your family with so much love.
8. So sorry about [name]. Sending you strength.
9. With sympathy, and gratitude for the time we had with [name].
10. Remembering [name] with you today and always.

For the loss of a parent (11 to 20)

11. I am so sorry about your mom. She loved you so much, and it showed every time she talked about you.
12. Your dad was one of the kindest people I have known. I'm so sorry.
13. No one is ever ready to lose a parent. I'm thinking of you.
14. Your mother raised a wonderful person. I see her in you.
15. I'll always remember your dad's handshake and the way he asked how my kids were.
16. She was so proud of you. I hope you know that.
17. Losing a parent changes everything. I'm here for the hard days ahead.
18. Your father lived a full life, and he filled the lives of everyone around him.
19. I'm so sorry. If you want to tell me stories about her, I would love to hear every one.
20. Thinking of you as you carry your mom's love forward.

For the loss of a spouse or partner (21 to 28)

21. I am so sorry about [name]. The two of you were a joy to be around.
22. The love between you was obvious to everyone who knew you. I'm so sorry.
23. I'm thinking of you in the quiet moments, when it's hardest.
24. [Name] always lit up when you walked into a room. I'm so sorry.
25. I can't imagine your loss. I'll call next week, and the week after.
26. I'll miss [name]'s laugh. I know you will miss so much more.
27. Holding you in my heart as you face these days without [name].
28. Please let me bring dinner on Thursday. No need to reply; I'll leave it at the door.

For a friend or relative (29 to 38)

29. I'm so sorry. [Name] was one of a kind, and the world is quieter without them.
30. I'm grateful I got to know [name]. I'm thinking of you.
31. [Name] made everyone feel welcome. I'll never forget that.
32. I'm here to listen, to help or just to sit with you.
33. Our family is holding yours close.
34. [Name] was the heart of every gathering. We'll miss them so much.
35. I'm so sorry for your loss. I'll be thinking of you on the hard days, and the ordinary ones too.
36. Sending love to you and everyone who loved [name].
37. I wish I had the right words. I just want you to know I care.
38. Thank you for sharing [name] with all of us.

For a coworker or acquaintance (39 to 46)

39. I'm so sorry for your loss. Please take all the time you need.
40. Thinking of you and your family during this difficult time.
41. We're all thinking of you here, and we've got things covered.
42. With sincere sympathy from all of us on the team.
43. I didn't know [name], but I know how much they meant to you. I'm sorry.
44. Wishing you comfort and peace.
45. [Name] was a wonderful colleague and a kind person. We'll miss them.
46. Please don't worry about anything at work. Just take care of yourself.

Messages that share a memory (47 to 54)

These are the messages families keep. Replace the details with your own.

47. I keep thinking of the summer your mom taught all the neighborhood kids to swim. She was so patient with us.
48. I'll never forget the way [name] sang off-key at every birthday, on purpose, to make us laugh.
49. When I started at the company, [name] was the first person to take me to lunch. I never forgot that.
50. Your dad fixed my bike when I was ten and wouldn't take a dollar for it. I still think of him whenever I see a bike shop.
51. [Name] gave me the best advice I ever got: "Say yes, then figure it out." I still do.
52. I remember [name] at your wedding, dancing with every single person in the room.
53. Your grandmother's lemon cake is still the best thing I've ever eaten. I'm so sorry she's gone.
54. I have a photo of [name] holding my daughter the day she was born. I'll send you a copy.

If you have more than a sentence or two to share, write a separate letter or offer to record your memory for the family. Many families gather these stories afterward; see celebration of life ideas for ways they collect them.

With faith, or without it (55 to 60)

Only use religious messages if you know the family shares that faith.

55. Praying for you and your family, and for peace in the days ahead.
56. May [name]'s memory be a blessing.
57. Keeping you in my prayers.
58. Wishing you comfort from the people who love you most.
59. May the love of family and friends carry you through.
60. I hope you find moments of peace among the hard ones.

What to avoid, and how to sign off

Avoid:

• Explaining the loss: "Everything happens for a reason."
• Comparing it to your own loss, or saying "I know how you feel."
• Telling them how to feel or how long to grieve.
• "Let me know if you need anything." It is kind but puts the work on them; offer something specific instead.

Sign-offs, from close to formal: "With all my love," "Holding you in my heart," "Thinking of you," "With love and sympathy," "With deepest sympathy," "Sincerely."

If you are asked to speak at the service, see how to write a eulogy and these eulogy examples.